It's Monday and I have so much to share.
I think I have mentioned my love/hate relationship with this school system before and I want to write some current thoughts I have as I am pretty much affected by them at the moment.
Mind you, this is all from my own experience and my impression. I may have interpreted some things in my own way or misunderstood certain situations, but there is no denial that students here get treated very differently.
I am in fourth year, aka Transition Year, which is all about finding yourself, experiencing new things and taking responsibility. It is basically the year where you "grow up and discover your strengths and weaknesses". In theory that sounds lovely. But the reality is that Junior students (up to third year) are given little responsibility, are not really allowed to think on their own, are focused on learning everything by heart and get little to no respect from the teachers. Then, suddenly the colour of your jumper changes and with it, the expectations. Now you have to be responsible, discover your identity, know what you are good at, mature, think on your own, form your own opinions and have a plan for the future. Additionally, the teachers treat you now with "more respect", aka not like a child. How is this supposed to work? How can a student change so much within one year? How can they suddenly take all the responsibility and think on their own when it was suppressed until that point? Tell me, that I am not the only one seeing the flaws here.
My classmates have barely any presentation skills, did not learn how to handle deadlines that well, organize themselves or how to take responsibility. Most of them don' really know what they are good at, a lot of them lack self confidence. But now within one year they are expected to mature and reach all that? How?
My teachers in Austria started giving us responsibility and teaching us to organize ourselves the moment I got into secondary school. I was 11 at that time. We were asked to hold presentations in front of the class. In fourth grade, when I was 14, we really started to explore our strengths and weaknesses in depth, focused on what we are good at and discussed possible career paths. In fifth grade, when I was 15, it was all about presentation skills. We had a week long workshop and had to hold longer presentations in each subject (except PE). It's not like we didn't have to hold presentations before, it was just that the focus for that year was on how to speak in front of an audience and get your information across. This year, in sixth grade I would have done project management, also a very useful skill to have. Basically, my point is, that things like confidence, maturing and taking responsibility all take time and practice. It's not something you suddenly learn or posses, just because the colour of your jumper is now a different one.
This is just one of the examples of what bothers me, there are a handful of other arguments, I might add them later. But right now, I don't have the energy to do so. All I can think of is Maya, she will arrive in three hours and I am so, so excited.
Maya will be staying for six days and we plan to go to Galway for a night and I am just so, so happy that she is coming.
I have to admit (mostly to myself) that I am getting homesick. For most of the time, I am completely fine, I am participating in stuff, doing work for school, spending time with friends and do some exercise. But I have phases, mostly on the weekend, where I completely forget to take care of myself. I forget to shower, barely leave the bed or eat unhealthy. Sometimes it feels that those basic things take too much energy, they are not priority any more. My friend told me that this is simply being homesick. And to be honest, I think the same. I feel well and these things don't get in the way of me getting stuff done or doing all the activities I do. It is just weird for me, because I never had that before.
Anyways, I think I will be able to get myself together. Like I said my dearest Maya is arriving in a couple of hours. With her, she will bring stability, love and home. She is my home. I don't care where I am, as long as it's with her.
We will spend some amazing days together, she will give me strength. On Wednesday, we go to Galway together and stay for the night in a nice hotel. I am so looking forward to that. As for today, after Maya arrives, I plan to bring her to her B&B and then go for a walk at the beach. Tomorrow, my organisation planned a cliff walk from Greystones to Bray and then to go bowling. And then, Galway is calling.
Right now, I am so excited and happy. I can barely sit still. I even forgot what I originally wanted to write.
Last week was pretty cool, on Wednesday I went into town for a debating workshop instead of school. Four students from our school went, Aodhan, Sean, Benedicta and I. That workshop was amazing! It was interesting, funny and I loved every bit of it. Afterwards Aodhan showed us around Dublin, leading us to all the cool places. I enjoyed myself so much. On my way back home we took the bus and talked. If I had to pinpoint a moment where I decided to officially see Aodhan as a friend, it was that one. I am very glad that I could talk so freely and joke around.
On Thursday I missed school as well, because we had an athletics competition. I only had to go in for the first period and then a bus got us and we were driven to the Phoenix Park, where the race took place. I had to run 1100 m. Looking back, I am very grateful that I took part, since my first decision was not to go. This run gave me so much. It was motivational, I reached my goal (which was to run everything without walking and giving my best) and it made me feel invincible. Turns out that our girls senior school team (which I ran for) won. My first race here in Ireland and I am coming home with a gold medal. What more could I wish for?
Overall, I am very proud of me.
On Friday, the teacher who was with us at the workshop came up to us and told us that apparently the people doing the workshop were so impressed by all those who took part, that they want to come to our school and film us, talking and debating. They want to use that video for teaching future adjudicators and to show people what the Concern Debates are about. Honestly, that is so cool!
I'd like to end on this note, since I really can' think of anything else than Maya arriving.
And I want to remind everyone who reads this that it is a challenge, going abroad for a year, but it's the right path. I am facing obstacles, but I wouldn't trade in this experience for anything.
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